HAPPY EASTER everyone...Today, Good Friday is quite. I've got a few chores done this morning. I could'nt do much in the way of chores at all last week due to "?" finishing painting the kitchen walls, then the the man from the council came to tile around my sink. Then yesterday, "?" and i went to Topps Tiles to buy some tiles to match the council ones to put along the back of the work-top which "?" will do during next week sometime or when hes feeling up to it, after all theres no rush.
"?" was here this morning for half hour then left, he was'nt feeling too good in himself today, i think he may have over done it while painting my kitchen. He seems to be in a rushing,anxious mode which is one of the bipola symptoms. I think thats why he kept himself busy painting my kitchen and to keep his mind off the latest events concerning "A"
"A" rang Wednesday morning, he said he has been moved to Newmarket early that morning and he has sent out a VO ( visiting order ) to "L" for "L" the kids, "?" and myself to visit Easter Sunday. One part of me wants to go to see him because hes my son, but the other half of me thinks about all the things hes done wrong over the years and i feel i would be a hypocrite if i did go, because i always told him that if he ever goes to prison again, he goes on his own and with no help from us what so ever. Last time we were going to visit him once a week each week for 4 years, he came out 10 years ago this march and "L" was visiting twice a week. Going inside the prison made me feel like dirt to be associated with the filth there and its degrading being searched going in and out... I just don't know what i will do yet. Deep down i love him, but i hate what he stands for and wild for him getting in trouble again, my feelings are so mixed up. "?" has had some strong words with me yesterday for even thinking of going to visit him. I just don't know yet! If he was'nt my son, i would'nt give him the time of day which he already knows.
My brother-in-law "H" came by yesterday just as we got back from Topps Tiles. "H" stayed for dinner and chatted all day with "?" they don't see that much of each other now, "H" used to drop by weekly at one point, but things change...
I'm listening to musicbox with my earphones at the moment with all sixties and seventies records that i've put together.
"SH" has gone to her friends in Maldon, Essex for the Easter Hols, i will give "Z" her Easter Egg when they return after the hols. "L" will be here in the morning (Saturday) to drop off "ST" and "J" so they can speak to "A" when he rings. I will give "ST" and "J" their Easter Eggs tomorrow.
Well, thats all my news for now...I hope you all have a great Easter weekend...Best wishes to one and all.
6 comments:
Hi Astra, I can`t even imagine what it would be like to visit my own son in prison, I think I would dread going there. It must be so hard for you to decide whether to visit or not so I hope you are able to reach a decision that you feel comfortable with. I`m glad your kitchen is almost finished, you must be very pleased even though there are still a few more tiles to put up. I hope A feels better soon. Have a very Happy Easter. :o)
Love Sandra xxxx
Have a happy Easter!
Missie
Astra you do have a predicament he is your Son but I would not know weather to go or not ~ you did tell him if he went to prison again he would go on his own~ I do hope you make the decision that makes you comfortable ~ keeping you in my thoughts ~ Ally xx
Happy Easter, Astra
Happy Easter!
Linda :)
Dont familys present you with the worst problems ,Only you knows what to do ,but you did tell him if he went again it would be on his own ,so he cant say he wasnt warned ,Some times Mums have to think of them selves ...love Jan xx
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